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| Lionel, though certainly more photogenic, was also rather more camera-shy |
Waiting in the quiet experience of worship I seek the courage, the push of God,
to see the true thing in everything with which I am involved…I seek courage to
do the true thing that my own life may not be double talk. Here, in the
quietness of worshipful waiting I seek courage to do the true thing.
Meditations of Worship, 166-167
Beautiful, right? Though goodness, how often I catch myself slipping into patterns of “double talk” living! Here, in this place where I am prone to define myself in a rather reactionary fashion, where I am often far too keen on locating myself within the social justice pool rather than the ordination track. “Oh no,” I insist again and again, “it’s graduate school I’m here for, not really seminary!” And yet, one quick glance at my track record reveals just how wide is the gap between my saying that I’m here because I care about social justice and my actually seeing and doing “the true thing” when it comes to real-life issues! We talk about “growing edges” in class a lot, and I sometimes wonder if it’s possible to be just one entire, giant “growing edge.” When I think on all the areas of life that I need to be more conscientious about/ faithful in— everything from food issues, environmental concerns, finances, current events, and the list goes on and on!— well, I see that it’s not only courage that I need, but also more carved-out time in my day, increased patience with myself, and heaping doses of humility as I learn from my peers (both "ordination-track" and not!) in these realms and more.
This morning, a friend and I tried to check out a church over in Doraville, only to be greeted by a sign on the door saying that all were welcome to join them for worship…as long as you didn't mind making the 80 mile trek out to where they were having their fall retreat! After much debate over whether/ which church we ought to try out instead, we somehow ended up agreeing that a trip to the DeKalb Farmer’s Market might make for good church as well. To be sure, I truly am excited to uncover and become enmeshed in a worshipping community of faith, and hopefully sooner rather than later! However, as we wandered the aisles of local and international produce and as my friend shared more about her personal commitments to shop at places like this one— places where fresh food is affordable and accessible and where fair wages for those involved in every stage of the process are supported— well, somehow her joke that we might find God among the vegetables didn’t feel that far off! We rounded out the morning with a visit to Lionel, the beautiful cat I’ve had the honor of feeding while a friend of ours is out of town, and then it was back to the house to unload the miscellaneous items I accumulated at the market (red peppers, herbes de provence, sweet potatoes, and more). For the record, I have no clue as to what on earth I'm actually going to do with these mismatched items, but it should be fun motivation to work on yet another one of my "growing edges," developing a few basic competencies in the kitchen!
Looking back over this post, I realize that the whole Howard Thurman quote and farmer’s market experience might feel entirely unrelated, and who knows, maybe they are. After all, in my Pastoral Care class, we’ve repeatedly discussed the concept of “good crazy,” a concept I couldn’t help but strongly identifying with! But maybe, just maybe, in moments like these there really is an element of “seeing truly,” a way of looking for God in all things and finding reasons for reverence in all places...and yes, that just might include the produce aisle! (Veggie Tales, anyone??)
Until Next Time,
Janelle
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